I was out with a young couple yesterday, who are looking for their first home together. Always a fun time, house shopping for someone’s first “forever home”.

It got me to thinking of all the things that I see, as a Realtor, that sometime cause me to shake my head…or want to say to the Home Owners who are trying to sell their home… “Nooooooo…Please don’t “.

If you are not a layer of ceramic or marble tile by trade, pleeezze… do not attempt it this at home. Trust me, we can all tell.  As good as everyone tells you the job is, we will notice that you didn’t hire a professional. And we will discuss this very issue after we leave the home. The same goes for installing a bathroom vanity, attempting to create an “open concept” feel in your home by knocking a wall down, or building a weekend deck with a bunch of buddies and a case of beer. We will notice. And it will come back to bite you.

We know you love your puppy. Or your seventeen cats. I honestly get this overwhelming feeling of gush to our 4 legged friends.. Bowser, my puppy, is the centre of my Universe. Yes, he is 3, but he is my puppy. And I love him.

HOWEVER, I have had to come to terms with the fact that he is NOT the centre of everyone else’s Universe. And you should know, the same applies for your pet.  Yes, we will stoop down and pet them, and gurgle and coo at them for a minute, but what we really came to look at was your home. Your property. We may even want to buy it.  We can’t do that if your sweet little Molly is jumping up and down in front of us begging for our attention, biting at our ankles, or your 120 lb majestic Great Dane is bounding at us from across the back yard, as we try to decide if this is a nice space for the family. Or your cat is trying desperately to trip us as we walk down the basement stairs. Cats, for some reason, love to claim to stairs when strangers are around. It’s true… I see it all the time.

Toilet seats seriously need to be down when selling your home… get into the habit of making sure that little cover is down at all times. We don’t want to see the good job your little child did, but forgot to flush. In advance, we thank you for shutting the lid.

If you smoke, please… wash your walls with ammonia, steam clean your carpets, and start heading outside. I can’t begin to tell you how many Buyers are now refusing to walk into a Smoke Home. They get as far as the front door, and turn around. You are losing sales, folks.  And please don’t try to convince yourself that you can fool us by “just having one” and opening the windows. The Buyers will notice. And many will leave without viewing your Home.

We know that you know to leave the home for showings. It allows us, my Clients and myself, to focus on your home, to walk through, and discuss the pros and cons. To discuss the possibility of purchasing  your home. So, in advance, thanks for giving us the space to do that. It’s a big decision, and we are glad you understand that we need to take this seriously.

But, when you leave, please put your valuables away… Honestly, we as strangers in your home, get pretty darn nervous when you leave your purse, or wallet in the living room. Or your cherished rings and credit cards are on your night stand.  Again, we really just came here to see if this is the “Forever Home”.  We don’t want to have to be responsible or worry about your personal belongings while we are there.

And finally… your dirty laundry. Do not share it with us. We don’t want you to. And we don’t need you to. It’s yours. We don’t want to see your dirty socks in the corner of the room… ugh. We may not even enter the room because of this. We don’t want to have to hop and skip over mounds of your dirty laundry in the basement to check out the breaker panel or the furnace. And, as pretty as you may think they are, we also didn’t come to view your bras and panties hanging to dry.

See, we have come to see if your home is the perfect home.  The Buyer needs to decide, with clear uncluttered focus, if your home is the home they would like to purchase. In all likelihood, they will be spending upwards or over of Two Hundred Thousand Dollars. Or Three Hundred Thousand Dollars.

Say it slow. Two Hundred THOUSAND Dollars. Three Hundred THOUSAND Dollars. Or more. It’s bigger than a new hairdo. Or a new bed. Or a new car. Or a new boat. It is likely the biggest purchase that this person will make. So please, switch out the broken cover plates for new ones on your electrical and light switches. Wipe the dirt off the walls. Clean your windows. And put your home on display. Make it drop dead gorgeous. Help us to want it. We thank you. And Happy Selling!